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Sure, workdays at Charlie Trotter’s lasted 1. But Curtis was surrounded by like- minded kitchen grunts, uncompromising in their collective desire to become the best. Not the best in Chicago, but the best, full stop. Entry- level cooks traded an $1. Trotter’s name on their resumes. In 2. 00. 3, Curtis went for a meal at the since- closed Evanston restaurant Trio, where a young chef named Grant Achatz — just 1. Curtis’ senior — was making noise with his avant- garde interpretation of fine dining. Achatz remembered that night: This cook from Trotter’s kitchen was dining with him, and whenever someone from a competing restaurant visited, he made sure to serve a meal that said, in no uncertain terms: You’re not employed at the best restaurant in town. After that dinner, Curtis was sold. On a day off from Trotter’s, he spent time in Trio’s kitchen as a tryout. After seeing Curtis in his kitchen, Achatz told him: “You don’t need to work here. You should be doing your own thing.”“But I want to work for you,” Curtis said.“Well, I can only pay you $1. Fine.”At Trio, Curtis ascended from the cold foods station to head pastry chef, becoming one of Achatz’s top deputies. The two spoke a common language without uttering a word. Both were quiet figures amid the noise of the kitchen, and when they did converse, it was about the new cuisine emerging from Spain, or the burgeoning usage of laboratory science as a cooking technique. It was a workplace where “No” was no match for “Sure, let’s try it.”When Achatz left Trio to open Alinea in 2. Gourmet magazine would soon deem the best in America — he tapped Curtis as chef de cuisine, his right- hand man. Curtis’ career took on the momentum of a wheel rolling downhill. To lead such an ambitious kitchen, 9. Nights, holidays and weekends took Curtis away from home. He’d return from work to find his wife already asleep for hours. Many nights, fear kept him awake: fear of failure, fear of slowing his forward momentum, fear of being second- best. Then, midflight in his meteoric rise: Kim was expecting their first child. He wished for a son to play baseball with and ride motorcycles together, as Curtis had with his father. But the Duffys were bestowed a daughter, Ava Leigh, and when she clutched her father’s pinky finger in the hospital room, Curtis’ eyes welled up. Everything would be for her. And when daughter Eden arrived three years after Ava, Curtis felt whole in a way he hadn’t since his Colorado childhood. His family was intact. He thought back to his Johnstown years: My daughters will not sleep on the floor of a closet. Curtis left Alinea after three years to make a name for himself. His goal of becoming one of the best chefs in the country was, he said, as much about personal validation as providing his family financial security. Curtis took on the top position at Avenues, a restaurant in The Peninsula hotel on Michigan Avenue where dinner for two cost $7. Finally, he could showcase his food, and his good name would rise and fall with the restaurant’s successes and failures. He assembled a team that had to jell quickly in the tight confines of Avenues’ kitchen, and members of the Avenues family spent more time together than with their actual families. On the day the Chicago Michelin Guide was unveiled in 2. Avenues team gathered in a suite at The Peninsula. Curtis knew the restaurant was receiving prestigious stars in the international guidebook; the question was how many. The call came to Curtis’ cellphone, and a man speaking in a French accent congratulated Avenues on winning two Michelin stars. Only two other restaurants in the city received that honor — one of which was Charlie Trotter’s. Alinea and L2. 0 received the highest rating that year, three stars. In the hotel suite, the Avenues staff burst into applause and champagne overflowed.“I must forge ahead,” Curtis told himself. He needed to become his own boss. This was the moment he’d worked for all his life: to become chef and owner of his own restaurant. Work harder. Stay that extra hour.“What about us?” he said his wife asked him. It’s always more and more and more. When will it be about our family? I can’t ..”Kim had moved to Chicago not knowing anyone who lived here, he said. She’d made that sacrifice for her husband’s career. At last, Curtis saw his selfishness.“You try to look for that balance in your day- to- day life. At that age, he didn’t realize it would become a metaphor. The kitchen was a place to run away from the chaos of his original family, and it had driven him to pursue a goal. That pursuit ultimately cost him another family — and his 1. Opening my own restaurant is supposed to be the greatest moment of my career,” Curtis said. Still, moments of hatred toward his dad surfaced — Bear, for instance, got in his goodbyes without giving Jan the same opportunity. Curtis thought: What a selfish act. But the anger subsides, because love for his parents never goes away. Once in a while, in his garden apartment a few blocks west of where Kim and their daughters live, Curtis revisits the blue spiral- bound notebook he found at his father’s house the morning after his parents died. Bear addressed each page to a different member of his family. But there was nothing written on them, except for one. The only letter Bear wrote in the notebook was to Curtis. Curt,This is dad. I’m telling you from my heart that you’re a very special young man and I wish I could tell you how proud of you I am . Try to do all the right things in it. Make sure if you ever get married and have children, that you show them and your wife all the love in the world. Always take time to be with them and show them love. Your wife should be shown the most love of all. Always take the time to talk to her and hear what she has to say because she’ll be the most important person in your life .. I ask you, Curt, to look back and see how many wrong things you have seen me do, and please don’t walk in my footsteps because you’ll be in a world of pain, hate, and sure won’t be loved and won’t be able to show love. So please be a better person than I was. I know you can .. Remember I love you, son, and always will. My love,Your dad. Listen to Curtis Duffy read his father's letter. Read books, audiobooks, and more.
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